Marriage. Why does it even matter? Is it something worth saving? I’m not talking about politically saving. I’m not talking about whether the government should recognize or oppose marriage between different people. I’m talking about the actual marriage between husband and wife and whether it is worth the hard work, the patience, the time, the effort, to save a marriage. Perhaps to save your marriage. Does it matter? Is it worth the work? Frankly, it doesn’t matter what I think. It doesn’t matter what your brother thinks. It doesn’t even matter what your parents or your religious leader thinks. It only matters what you think. So think about it. Close your eyes and consider what your marriage means to you and for you. Is it important to you for it to survive? For you to strengthen and grow your marriage? Why?
I have my own thoughts--that’s why I’m sharing them and writing this post. But when it comes down to it, my thoughts, my advice, and anyone else’s thoughts or advice, don’t mean anything unless saving your marriage means something to you. So take some time, think it over. Ponder on the purpose of your marriage. Ponder on what your spouse means to you. Why did you choose to marry the person that you did? Why did you choose to marry anyone anyway? If you were not married tomorrow, what would your life look like? What would it be like? What would you do? What would you miss? What would you miss out on?
There are hundreds of questions you can ask yourself, but take a few minutes and think about your life, your goals, and your marriage. Is it worth saving? I think so. Even if your marriage is struggling. Even if you and your wife are in a fight right now. Even if you and your husband are growing distant and fading apart. I believe your marriage is worth saving. And if it is worth saving, I believe it is worth the work that is required to fix and save.
Now some of you probably already have strong, healthy marriage relationships. Perhaps you aren’t in a fight with your wife, or you aren’t fading from your husband. But even good marriages require work. Some people say that if you aren’t moving forward, you’re moving backward. Or if you aren’t growing closer together, you are growing apart. I don’t know if that is necessarily true, but one thing is for certain, I wouldn’t want to risk it.
So why is marriage worth saving, and worth the work, the blood, the sweat, and tears? I’ll give you my two cents, and through my posts on this blog, I’ll share my personal thoughts, tips, and suggestions for working on your marriage.
To me, marriage is worth saving because it truly is the fundamental relationship and connection in life and in society. A marriage provides the ideal environment to grow and improve personally, to create life, to create memories, love, and compassion. A marriage brings two distinct individuals together, binds them into one synergistic organism, where the combined product is far greater than the sum of the two individuals. So there are natural reasons marriage is so important. There are also societal reasons marriage is so important. There are spiritual and eternal reasons why marriage is so important. And there are personal reasons marriage is so important.
From a nature standpoint, marriage provides the ideal environment for creating and raising life. Having two dedicated individuals come together in love and bring a child into the world, with a stable and caring home in which to teach, raise, guide, and love the child, is key to providing the best opportunity for the child to learn and grow. From a societal standpoint, research has shown for some time that married individuals are wealthier and more stable than unmarried persons, especially for women. Marriage provides a steady relationship and home with partners caring for each other’s needs and supporting their dreams and ambitions, and often provides the motivation for the individuals to succeed in business and employment in order to provide for the spouse and children. Marriage provides that stabilizing relationship and drive. From a spiritual and eternal standpoint (which I consider to be one in the same), marriage provides the best opportunity to learn Christlike charity and love, putting the needs of others in front of your own, even to the point of laying your life down for someone else. It provides the best opportunity to develop other essential eternal attributes that God would like us to obtain in order to become more like Him. It also provides a difficult complement to our lives. Living with and caring for a spouse is not easy. It tests us, pushes us, tempts us, and at times drives us mad. This is a refiner’s fire. Anyone who is or has been married knows it is not always easy. But what we learn and what we develop - if we’re willing to - can make us more like Divinity than just about any other relationship in life. Perhaps that is why Jesus likened His people to His spouse.
So back to the question: Does your marriage really matter? Is your marriage something worth saving? Is it worth the work? You know what I think. But what do you think?
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